Esther Nagle

Trauma informed Recovery Coach

Helping you find YOUR PEACEful Path to a happy and sustainable recovery

It’s not your fault you know. 

You’re not a bad person. You are not a monster. You’re not all the things they tell you they are.

Addiction was never your choice. You were in need of something to soothe and ease your pain. And you found it. 

It worked for a while, didn’t it? 

And then you needed more, and more and more. You started to struggle without it. You had to shape your life around it, prioritise it over other things, other people you value in your life.

That doesn’t mean you don’t value those things and people. 

It means that you needed the soothing just to feel normal. Or what passes for normal to you.

I get it!

I turned to alcohol and drugs to drown out the screaming in my head. To ease the torment that was there all the time. To fool myself and others that I was happy, that I was confident, that I was enjoying my life.

I wasn’t any of these things. And when the booze ran out, and the drugs wore off, I was even less.

I turned to men to feel loved, to feel desired, to feel wanted. But they didn’t want me. They didn’t even see me. They just saw a woman who wouldn’t, couldn’t say no. Who would passively accept them because she couldn’t see just how much she would reject them if she was sober.

I felt less loved, less desired, less wanted with everybody I woke up to.

I turned to food, to sugar and carbs, to provide comfort, to ease boredom. I tried to regulate and control my eating, sometimes bingeing, sometimes purging, never eating just for pleasure or nutrition. 

Social media and the internet became my source of connection and identity. A dopamine hit when I needed to feel seen. The endless scrolling to avoid feeling the loneliness, anxiety and boredom I was feeling. 

I’d feel drained as I was scrolling but still return 10 minutes later.

 

I have beaten myself up for all these and more. I have loathed myself into more addiction, more self-sabotage, more misery.

I believed them when they told me I should be ashamed of myself. That I was a slut, a junkie, a drunk, a terrible person, an awful mother.

And for years, my shame made all my decisions for me…

Until I found my ruby slippers, and learned that I had the power all along.

I was able to release all that shame and tension, all the self loathing, and came to realise that I could follow my own yellow brick road to recovery.

I learned some new ways to cope and be with my emotions. New ways to connect with my body. New ways to view myself. New ways to love myself.

I’ve been sober of alcohol and drugs since October 2014. I have a much healthier relationship with food, and eat food to enjoy it and to nurture my body now. 

 

And, yes, I still battle with the internet calling to me all the time, but I have developed strategies to help me manage it, and am more in control of it.

I learned to channel my inner strength and courage, to tune into my heart, and I learned to connect my mind and body and be more present with myself and the world. 

And I learned that I can live my own version of recovery, and I can stay strong in that recovery even when life sends flying monkeys to challenge me.

And I know the same is possible for you!

You are not powerless.

You are stronger than you think.

You don’t have to follow anyone else’s path of recovery, you can create your own, one that works for you!

I believe in you, and as your recovery coach, I will help you believe in yourself.

We will find all the small wins and celebrate them with gusto.

We will work together, and get you through those tough moments. I will hold you accountable, and be the caring, no-bullshit friend who will tell you what you need to hear (even if it’s not what you want to hear).

I don’t know how YOU feel, because we have different lives, but I have been where you are, and I know that a better life is waiting for you.

Are you ready to put your ruby slippers on and find that power that’s inside?

How can I help you?

Recovery Coaching

I offer one to one and group recovery coaching, in person in South East Wales, or online. I am trauma informed with lived experience of addiction, and 8 years of recovery. I am open to all forms of recovery and I can help you find the pathway of recovery that works for you.

Yoga and Meditation for Stress Relief

I am a trained Yoga teacher with a deep understanding of stress and how it can affect your life. I can teach you to recognise stress when it hits, and some valuable tools and practices to manage and release it.

Natural Mindfulness and Connection

Nature can be one of our greatest healers, and can teach us valuable lessons about life, growth, healing and recovery. I can guide you to tto develop your own natural mindfulness and nature connection practice in person or remotely, and will be arranging group activities in South East Wales

Would you like to find out more about how I can help you in your recovery?

Don’t Wait Any Longer. Start Forging Your Own Path to Recovery Today!